A FEW STORIES

 We can't stress enough the importance of women knowing first how to avoid situations that put them at risk for crimes against them and second how to defend themselves if they find themselves in a dangerous situation.

 Perhaps a few testimonials might help to not only stress this point, but also put it in bold with CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation points!!!!!!!!  The following stories are not for the faint of heart.

Melissa's Story

Melissa and John had been married for just a year before Melissa realized that her husband had a very, very dark side.  The two seemed to have an idyllic life. 

John was a successful stockbroker; Melissa was attending school to be a nurse.  They had a modest three-bedroom home in an affluent suburb and money to spare.  Melissa wanted children and so did John - maybe just a little too much.  They were having trouble conceiving a child, though, and it was putting a strain on both of their nerves not to mention their relationship.

John often referred to Melissa as the barren wasteland and often made fun of her inability to conceive.  He drank more than he should have and took out all his frustrations and anger on Melissa on a regular basis.  She wrote it off as him having too much stress and figured the attacks would stop once she became pregnant.

One sunny June day at a bar-b-que at the lake, though, Melissa had had enough of his temper and his violent behavior.  They were with friends having a seemingly fun day.  They had their speedboat out and all were enjoying a few cocktails.  Then John started in.  He began calling Melissa names, making fun of her in front of their friends, and grabbing her a little too hard for her liking.

When they got home from the lake, she endured the worst beating of her life and she left.  At her mother's house, she cried and begged her mother for help.  They went online and found resources at a women's help center.  Melissa did everything she was supposed to do.  She obtained a restraining order against her husband, filed criminal charges along with divorce papers, and moved in with her mother.

On August 18, 2003, John approached Melissa in the parking lot of her college.  She tried to get away from him, but she just wasn't as strong as he was.  John beat Melissa so severely that she died from her injuries two days later.  Her mother still wonders if Melissa had taken the self-defense class she had suggested whether or not her daughter would be alive today.

Lisbeth's Story

Many women are careless during shopping trips.  Some are giddy over the bargains they found; others are just in such a hurry that they forget predators are out there everywhere.  Lisbeth was finishing up her Christmas shopping at a local mall.  It was about 7:00 at night and she was rushing to get home because her husband was making dinner.

She didn't see the man under her car.  As she stood at the driver's side door, keys in hand, he reached out with a rather large knife and sliced her Achilles tendon.  In horrible pain, she writhed on the ground. 

He picked her up, put her in the back seat and drove her car to a secluded area where he repeatedly raped her before dropping her off at the same shopping mall parking lot where he abducted her.  He left the car too.  He was never caught.

Alyssa's Story

She had gotten her dream job.  After years of toiling away as a secretary, Alyssa had just landed a job as an administrative assistant at a radio station for the entire sales staff.  She was being given a huge amount of responsibility and was excited about being in the world of radio.

Michael was a sales associate who was well know as a ladies man.  He flirted with everyone - especially the new girls.  At first, Alyssa didn't mind the attention.  Michael was a nice guy and very good-looking.  She enjoyed flirting.  But then it went a step further.

Michael began touching her in ways she didn't like.  She was young - only 21 - and this was the career she always wanted, so she didn't know what to do.  One late night, they were both in the office.  Michael approached her desk and started with his standard lines.  Alyssa tried to be nice and brush him off gently, but Michael was relentless.

His touches turned into gropes, his gropes turned into invasive sexual advances.  Before she knew it, he was raping her and she was powerless to stop him.  The next day, he acted like nothing had happened, but Alyssa was devastated.  She felt violated and desperate.

Alyssa took her own life two days later.  In her suicide note, she told her mother she wished she had been strong enough to fight back.

 These stories, while shocking and sad, are true and they happen all the time.  There are hundreds more out there just like them.  The one common thread woven through them all is the woman's feeling of powerlessness.  All of these women wanted to resist, but they didn't know how.  Would you know how?

Let's begin by looking at the most common crimes against women.